Walking my dog through my neighborhood with worship in my ears is one of my favorite things to do. It’s probably the number one thing I miss about working from home (I mostly miss wearing my pj’s to work). I used to have time naturally built into my days to be able to do that, but now I spend that time driving to my out-of-the-house job (which I love and am so very thankful for).
The other night I had some extra time and both Daisy and I were itching to be outside, so I leashed her up, turned on one of my church’s new singles, which can be found {here}, and off we went. I’ve got to be honest, sometimes it’s really hard for me to not worship the Lord on these walks the way I freely worship at church. Sometimes I do lift my hands and ignore the fear of man that tries to creep in . . . I’m sure my neighbors think I’m crazy. They’re probably right.
I digress, as I tend to do.
As I walked, prayed, and worshipped, these lyrics from the song linked above came on:.
“Our status, our names, our titles, our fame, we lay down our crowns . . .You can have it all, it all belongs to you . . .”
The Holy Spirit stirred inside me, and I started thinking about all the other things I need to lay down. Things like, my right to be heard, my need to be right, my desire for things to go exactly the way I want them to . . . And in that moment I was able to say, “You really CAN have it all, Lord. I am exhausted by these things anyway.” And at the same time, I thought, “You have no idea what you just said.”
Humility and pride went head-to-head as I kept waiting for Daisy to stop smelling lamp posts walking.
We are simply human. As many vows as we make to the Lord, we will surely break at one time or another. I will no doubt fight for my right to be heard, and demand that I am right, and try to orchestrate things to go my own way at SOME point in my future.
Pride will always be a struggle, and once you see it in one area of your life, you will see it in ALL areas of your life, I promise. It is a nasty thing. But during my walk I got just a glimpse of what it would be like to truly surrender all of that to Jesus, to live a moment of absolute humility, and it was so peaceful and freeing. I really do want to lay all those things down. I really do want to be free of the pressures that this world puts on us and just seek Jesus.
This idea is something my fiancé calls, “when winning looks like losing.” When we give up rights to the things we hold close, in the natural world it can feel
like we are losing. I may not *always* be right. Pfft. Fine. “No, Julie, this time it’s not going to go the way you want it to. Can you handle that?” Sigh.
As I’ve been learning what humility looks like lately, my perspective is starting to shift. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve got a LONG way to go, but there is still progress being made. I’m starting to see the benefits of letting go of those rights. I’m starting to see how much harder it is to live a life that constantly involves the struggle to be the winner and if I’m honest, winning usually means someone or something important has been trampled on in the process, and if I’m even more honest, it’s usually my relationship with Jesus. But when I have been working to truly lay down those crowns, I see the reward pretty quickly. It’s giving up control and allowing Jesus to humble me and see things through His eyes rather than my own extremely limited vision. By “losing” in the natural, we gain spiritual ground and become victorious in the supernatural, and that is where the real battle is going on, but eventually, we see the win in the natural as well – it may not look like what we expected, but if it brings Him glory, it’s for our good!
What’s one thing you can work on laying down this week? Don’t worry, you don’t have to share, but I urge you to pray about it and ask the Lord to show you where winning can look like losing in your own life. And if you do want to share, I’d love to partner with you in prayer and conversation! Humility needs accountability and I’m here for all of it, on all sides!
