I’m pulling from my treasured archives again today. I found this post shortly after writing about my wound care experience, and I thought this was a nice add-on to that post. I pray that, whatever surgery the Lord is up to in your heart, you sense His loving presence comforting you along the way.
Originally posted in 2013
We have a tool for getting weeds up in our yard. It looks like this:
It’s actually a little dangerous, and *ahem* should not be left out unattended for five year olds to jam into their feet . . . (epic mom fail. He was fine, but man that was scary.)
You jam those spikes into the ground in the middle of the weed and then step on the back part and the pop goes the weed and all of its roots . . . at least in theory.
The boys and I were outside a number of weeks ago, “being helpful” and trying to pop some weeds, but we were finding that a lot of the weeds were breaking off just above the soil rather than being uprooted. It was very unfulfilling work because I knew we weren’t actually getting rid of the weeds and were probably making them worse. Someone informed me that because we hadn’t started watering yet, the ground was too hard and it would be a lot easier once the soil had softened with a good watering.
This came back to me this morning as I was thinking about a conversation I had with a friend last night who is struggling to make a decision about something. She talked about all of the factors involved and how much her childhood was affecting her decision-making process and how certain things kept popping up in her head and that there were probably some unresolved things from her past that she needed to work through in order to make the best decision.
This happens to me a lot, certain memories or situations will continue to pop up in my head for a time until the Father reveals that there is some root issue that is either hindering me or causing me emotional harm. Often I have to bawl my eyes out for a few hours over the memories that are showing up and I have to walk out some of my hurts before I can get to the other side and get to the root of the issue. I look at the resurfaced and repetitive memories as the Father preparing my heart for the healing, bringing the rain to soften the ground in order to uproot the weeds in my life. I am so thankful that He doesn’t use a tool like the one above (I’ve seen first hand how much damage they can do to human flesh! *sad face*), even though sometimes it feels like surgery, He uses His hands and gently tugs at those roots until they come free. He gives me time to really process through whatever the situation is and helps me to get to the place where I feel like I am strong enough to tackle it. He doesn’t just rip it out when I’m not looking. He is gentle.
When certain feelings or memories start to present themselves repeatedly in a short period time, I encourage you to recognize them and not push them away. Find a quiet space to ask the Lord, “What are you up to? What is buried in this memory that you want to heal or address?” It’s a scary question once you start, but the process is full of peace and hope and ultimately freedom. Trusting Him with the healing is the key though.
The Lord led me to this verse today and it was so encouraging to my heart during this time, I know it’s not just for me:
Jeremiah 17:7-8 (TLB)
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord his hope and confidence. He is like a tree planted along a riverbank, with its roots reaching deep into the water — a tree not bothered by the heat nor worried by long months of drought. Its leaves stay green and it goes right on producing all its luscious fruit.”